does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
