what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
