So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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