I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize