You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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