Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
