How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
