bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
