Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
my poor anus
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
