She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The air was thick with penises
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
