So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
50% drunk capacity currently
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
