Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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