10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
