I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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