I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
