So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize