Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
