nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
