"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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