last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
