Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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