Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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