so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
