ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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