OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Houston, we have a squirter
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
