Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
