So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm too high and old for this...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
