I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
