That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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