you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
