ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
