She's JV to your varsity
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
