tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
