Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
pray to the hookup gods
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
