oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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