would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
