made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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