i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
