White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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