His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I am naked and annoyed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize