I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
