ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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