Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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