i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
