Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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