K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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