I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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