just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize