you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
