He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
