I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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