An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I deserve this hangover.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
