A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize