dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
