Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
