no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
