I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sext me about skeletons
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
