highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
