I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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