but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
