Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
