drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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