When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
