how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Shame is for Republicans.
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