sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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