i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We had sex on a dog bed..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize