And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
