i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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