yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
