I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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