Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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